Across the pond

My blog has been a bit neglected as of late.  However, I do have a really, really, really good excuse:  I took a vacation to the UK to finally meet my boyfriend’s family!

Dating a man from the UK has it’s good points and bad. 

The Good:

He has a sexy accent.

There’s potential for travel to Europe.

He uses cute phrases and words that make me laugh.

He’s introduced me to good English food.  Yes, it does exist.

Did I mention the accent???

The Bad:

His entire family is in the UK, including his kids.  This means almost every holiday is spent apart.

It’s taken nearly five years for me to meet his family.  His mum did visit once.

It’s a 10+ hour flight for us to get to/from there.

I always fear that he may need to move back there and I won’t be able to go with him.

All of that aside, we had a great albeit low-key vacation visiting his family and spending time with his kids.  A day in London and a day in Brighton aside, we mostly just relaxed, ate a lot and drank lots of wine.  His family is incredibly sweet and I loved them all.

So now it’s back to work, back to figuring out what I’ll do should my company decide to fold and back to blogging.

Cheers!

Why I love San Jose

This past weekend my boyfriend and I went on a little getaway to Santana Row in San Jose…to rest up for our vacation this weekend.  More on the upcoming vacation coming soon.

For this post, I wanted to share with you one of the most exciting events of my weekend.  No, not the food (though it was good), not the wine (though I had a lot), and not the sex (though it was great). It was the shopping.  Or specifically, a particular item I found while shopping:

THE PERFECT pair of jeans. 

We all seek them and seldom find them.  In high school, my perfect pair of jeans had zips on the ankles so that I could tuck them into my scrunchy socks.  Hey – shut up - it was the 80’s.  After school I worked at The GAP so the perfect pair was whichever of their cuts fit me well enough to justify using my employee discount.  After that kids were born and the idea of anything fitting well again seemed impossible.  Oh, there were some that came close, but they’d always shrink.  Or I’d gain weight.  Whatever.  Then there were those that seemed perfect but I later realized were too short to get the perfect hem to high heel ratio. 

The jeans I found in San Jose are PERFECT.  Here’s how it went down. We walked into BCBG just to browse and right there in the front of the store was a rack that said 70% off.  And right on the end of that rack were the jeans.  My jeans. In my size. They were a dark blue wash, more dressy than casual, with a narrow but not skinny leg.  I marched right back to the fitting rooms and voila – perfection.  Snug in the hips and bum without being tight.  High enough on the waist to cover my belly roll, but not high enough to be mom jeans.  And the length was perfect even in my 4 1/2 inch platform boots.  Heaven.

The icing on the cake is that the discount brought them to $38.  Crazy huh?

Ladies, the perfect jean does exist.  Keep shopping!

On the verge of collapse…or exciting new horizons?

I like a little adventure in my life, but when it comes to my job I’m all about security.  No upheavals unless I say so.

Unfortunately, our small office was rocked by some major changes by corporate last week – despite already weathering layoffs and paycuts in June.  This time, we lost one person, two others were made part-timers, and there were further paycuts.  Luckily, I was one of two who wasn’t affected but I’m not feeling entirely comfortable about the future of my job.  This economy is kicking our ass, and the sheer ineptitude of some of my colleagues isn’t helping matters. The CEO really needs to lose the dead weight and kick everyone else’s ass into gear.  Not including me of course…I ROCK.

I have never, ever, in my life been fired or laid off from a job.  The thought of being unemployed is horrifying.  Obviously I’m going to cling to this job with a death grip for as long as they want to keep me on board.  With two kids to support I have no choice.  But part of me is excited that I may finally have a kick in the butt to get out there and look for something that makes me happy.   I bet there are hoards people out there feeling the same way and using this shitty economy as an excuse to finally pursue a dream, or start a small business. 

So, times are changing for me.  Wish me luck…

Couch potato

Somehow, despite being housed in the same physical being, my brain and my body are not in synch.  My brain thinks “Thirty-seven?  That’s young.  Nowhere NEAR old age. Let’s go see how much we can sweat at the gym.”  In response and to point out to my brain that it is, indeed, getting old, my body has reacted with an incredibly painful neck spasm that has left me hunched over and whiny for a full day now.

I have had a stiff neck before but never quite this painful or lasting this long.  By coincidence my doctor had ordered x-rays of my neck a few weeks ago to look at what we suspected was a pinched nerve causing my left arm to go tingly periodically.  I had been putting it off for a while just due to my schedule, but I decided yesterday that I really needed to get it done.  I called the outpatient x-ray office near my house yesterday to find out their hours.

Me:  “I need to come in for an x-ray.  What are your hours?”

Them: “Come in anytime between 8am and 12:30pm or between 1:30 and 4pm. No appointment necessary.”

Me:  “Great, I’ll be in tomorrow.”

Them:  “Okay, see you then!”

Fast forward to 1:30 this afternoon when I arrived at the office, stiff, in pain and having driven on the highway with no ability to look left.

Me:  “Hi, I’m here for an x-ray.”

Them: “Oh, we’re moving offices today.  We aren’t doing any x-rays until next week.”

Me: “Grrrrrrrrrrr…”

All I can assume is that this was a SURPRISE move and nobody even knew that there was a chance of moving offices and eliminating their x-ray services until that day.  Highly improbable I know, but how else can you explain nobody telling me this information when I called to inquire about when I could have my x-ray done?  At least she gave me a nice sing-songy “Sor-ry” as I walked out.  Grrrrr.

I did end up getting the x-rays done elsewhere and learned that I have an extra cervical rib in my neck that could be causing my arm numbness.  Unfortunately, an extra rib is not seen as a ‘bonus’.  So, I’ll see what happens.  For now I’m on the couch with a heating pad and some painkillers which I’ll take as soon as my boyfriend is home, just in case they make me loopy.

And the worst thing?  Taking painkillers means no wine tonight. Another Grrrrr.

Two pounds!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m on a summer mission to lose weight and improve my health while my kids are visiting their Dad.  This is no easy feat considering that I’m in my late 30s and still have a bit of ‘baby belly’ compliments of my now nine-year-old.  However, I am pleased to say that as of this morning I am two pounds lighter than when I started.  Go ME!

It is so true that the older you get, the harder it is to shed pounds.  I wish I’d taken better care of my body when I was younger but hey, can’t turn back the clock now, right?  All I can do is focus on the future, and for me, it will be a healthy one.  Here are the simple things I’m doing to get the body I want:

• I’ve eliminated meat, other than fish, from my diet.  Some days I eat no fish at all, focusing on vegetarian meals such as whole wheat pasta with vegetarian sauce loaded with peppers and mushrooms.  On the days I do eat fish, I’m pairing it with 2-3 veggies including only occasional potatoes or sweet potatoes for a treat.
• I’m eating far more fruits and veggies than I used to.  I actually love all fruits and veggies, with the exception of tomatoes, but never reached for them because they needed to be washed/peeled/cut etc. etc.  It was so much easier just to grab crackers or something for a snack.  Now I’m buying pre-cut/washed veggies which makes it easier to throw together a salad for lunch.  I also am buying small batches of fruit with a goal of eating it all up before it spoils.
• I still let myself have treats now and again so I don’t obsess.  Had a beautiful lemon/cranberry tart after dinner at a friends this weekend.  There was no way I was going to pass on that!
• I’m exercising A LOT more than normal.  This includes 30-45 minutes of cardio in the morning and an hour long Pilates class after work.  On weekends, I’m walking a few miles or doing a light workout with weights.  For me, this is twelve workouts a week which is awesome!

I miss having my kids around this summer but it has been a great opportunity for me to put my health first for a while.  I am well aware that when they come back there isn’t a hope in hell of keeping up with this diet and exercise schedule, but I will try.  At 37, without action, my body and health will only deteriorate from here.  My blood pressure is in pre-hypertension stage.  I have bad knees.  My posture sucks.  I suffer from anxiety attacks and stress. How can all of this be going on inside me when I still feel like a hip-twenty-something-year-old?  I’ve gotta get some control here!

As for any mothers reading this, I hope you feel inspired to take charge of your health and would love to hear what steps you’ve taken to balance your health with the needs of your families. 

Crocs and other poor clothing choices

Recently I encountered the “Croc Family” at the vet’s office.  No, their last name wasn’t Croc – they were all wearing Crocs.  I bet if dog Crocs were available, he’d have been wearing them too.

On kids I think they’re cute.  But on mothers, especially when paired with a ratty t-shirt, they just scream “I’ve given up”.  From what I see on a daily basis in stores, at school etc., a lot of mothers have, in fact, given up.  I don’t mean this to sound snobbish or superficial, but I think it’s sad to see so many women not looking as fabulous as they could and probably want. 

Women should dress for themselves and for nobody else, but I can’t honestly believe that so many women are satisfied with their appearance when they throw on a Disney t-shirt, sweats and horrible footwear.  So why do they do it?  Time is not an excuse.  It doesn’t take any longer to throw on jeans and a cute top and nice shoes before you leave the house.  Neither is money.  Between Target, TJ Maxx and consignment shops there are lots of affordable and stylish choices out there. 

For me, when I look good, I feel good.  I feel powerful.  I feel in charge.  People react to me differently.  Men sometimes do a double take.  My boyfriend certainly does!  I often wear a pair of killer heels just for the school run because it makes me feel more like a women with things to do than a mom just schlepping her kids to school. 

The way you dress tells others a lot about how you feel about yourself.  Think about what you want to project to others and how you want to feel about yourself.  Still love the way wearing Crocs and sweats makes you feel?  Go for it.  But if you’ve been feeling less than sexy and need a boost, try dressing up for a mundane task like grocery shopping and see how empowering it can be.

I’ll just have to win the lottery…

As a mother I am constantly trying to shape my children’s future, providing them with the knowledge they need to make good choices later in life.  One thing that I consistently try to hammer into their brains is that they need to further their education after high school.  I don’t care if it’s trade school or college, but they have to go to school.

My parents did not do the same for me, and I sincerely wish they’d pushed it on me since not going to college is, and probably forever will be, my biggest regret in life.  I chose the work route after school and after struggling for those first few years actually ended up on a pretty good career path in software sales.  The problem:  I don’t love what I do.  In fact, I’m bored to tears and incredibly frustrated, especially in this economy where I fight for every lead with few results.  I could try to find a new job, however my lack of a degree is really standing in my way.  I live in the San Francisco bay area where everyone seems to have at least a Bachelor’s degree.  How am I going to stand out against the rest of those applicants?

I have been toying with the idea of entrepreneurship but the BIG IDEA has not come to me yet so that plan is on hold.  In August I will have my official California residency making college tuition at a state college pretty affordable, so I decided to go back to school. Yay me, right?  Well that’s what I thought as I spent hours researching local two year colleges.  Since I’m a single mom with a full time job, online classes are really my only way to get through school.  My boyfriend isn’t home until 8pm most nights and travels frequently, and I’m just not comfortable leaving the kids home alone at night. 

After completing my research I called a nearby state community college yesterday and talked to one of the counselors.  While they do have some online classes, there isn’t a way for me to complete my degree entirely online.  Seems like there are some courses, like biology and, get this, two PE classes (!) that I have to complete for graduation.  PE?  Are you kidding me?  That’s part of what will hold me back from a degree, career choices and my future???  The counselor suggested the University of Phoenix which offers all online courses, but the cost is just too prohibitive for me.

Anyway, I hung up the phone and immediately burst into tears from the letdown of seeing a dream crushed, if only temporarily.  I will likely go to college when my kids are a bit older, but it doesn’t change the frustration I feel now, at this time in my life, when I am desperate to make positive changes and grow.  Unfortunately I’m sure I’m not the only single mother out there that has put a dream on hold for the sake of her kids.  I would love to hear any inspirational stories from other single mothers who’ve managed to parent, work and go to school at the same time and how you made it all work. 

In the meantime I’m going to enjoy a large glass of vino and keep working on that BIG IDEA.